Day 5
Mark and Shelly Nelson, authors
So far this week, we’ve learned that fools have a “hot nose” and God has a slow fuse when it comes to anger. We know that seeking wisdom can help us manage inherent reactions so we can resolve situations in a way that does not lead to sin.
As we wrap up our study of anger in the book of Proverbs, we want to take a look at how applying this wisdom can improve our relationships.
Read
Proverbs 15:18
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict,
but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
Proverbs 18:14
The human spirit can endure in sickness,
but a crushed spirit who can bear?
Proverbs 19:19
A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty;
rescue them, and you will have to do it again.
Proverbs 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,
do not associate with one easily angered.
Ask Yourself
- What do you see in these proverbs about the impact of anger on relationships?
- Since everyone gets angry at some point, in your mind, what makes someone “hot-tempered”?
- What wisdom is shared about how to deal with “hot-tempered” people?
- Seems obvious, but why would you want to avoid someone with a “hot temper” who causes quarrels?
Read what others say
The Battle Within
From Dr. Gregory L. Jantz:
When relationships are unresolved, they lead to unfulfilled desires. These unfulfilled desires are constantly agitating within you, battling your best efforts at personal peace, contentment, and happiness. This battle leaves you weary and wary, angry and frustrated, which leads you to fight and quarrel against yourself and others. Quarreling leads to a breakdown in relationship. Quarrels are often a red flag, pointing to diversionary anger.[1]
The Heart of Anger
As you read through this excerpt from The Heart of Anger by Christopher Ash and Steve Midgley, look at these six facets of anger from the perspective of how they impact your interactions with others. Think about the “new” suggestions and how they could reduce loneliness in your life.
Anger management is big business. … Now, there is wisdom in secular anger management. Take regular exercise. Get enough sleep. Think ahead about how and when to have difficult conversations. Learn good-natured humor to defuse a crisis. Avoid sarcasm. Count to ten. … So the question is, what can Christ do for our anger that anger management courses cannot?
- Anger reveals the desires of the heart. So if my anger is to be healed I need a changed heart with new desires.
- Anger infects from the crowd. So I need a new crowd from whom to learn a better way.
- I want to take revenge when badly treated; it churns me up. So I need some way to find peace and to heal my vengeful desires.
- Anger has an explosive, dangerous power. It is too strong for me; there is a spiritual dimension to my anger problem. So I need a new spiritual power to subdue and redirect my anger.
- Anger deceives because of my self-righteousness. So I need a new humbling.
- Anger is sometimes righteous but almost invariably results from mixed motives. So I need a new influence to purify my anger.
Explore on your own
Those who attend Christ Fellowship have free access to RightNow Media. You can find a variety of videos and studies for you and your family. Please request access if you haven’t done that yet to take advantage of this valuable resource and watch this four minute video from Max Lucado on The Fire of Anger. His insights summarize our study this week to see how we can apply this wisdom to improve our relationships.
Talk about it
- You may have uncovered some unresolved anger in your life this week. It may be more obvious if you see yourself in this “hot-tempered” person who is prone to quarrels. Discuss how it is impacting your relationship with a specific person or how it is spilling out into other relationships. What do you want to do about it?
- In reading the six facets of anger, what’s something “new” you need to pursue in your life to improve your relationships with others?
- Discuss what you took from Max’s message. How will you broaden your focus, understand the past or begin to pray so you can resolve some anger before it burns you up?
Pray
Gracious Father, thank you for meeting me where I am this week. Thank you for shining your light into dark places of my heart that are harboring anger. Thank you for sharing your wisdom through the Word so I can understand how to be more like you. Spirit, teach me, guide me, protect me as I learn self-control.
Pray specifically over any individuals or situations God has revealed you need to address.
Coming next week
We are halfway through our study of Proverbs. Each week continues to build on the wisdom we’ve gained so far. Next week we’ll welcome Bruce back and explore a topic that impacts individuals, families, and all of society. We’ll look at the warnings and wisdom from Proverbs regarding alcohol.
[1] Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D., Controlling Your Anger before It Controls You (Grand Rapids, MI: Revell Books, 2009).
