Day 4 

Mark and Shelly Nelson, authors

Fight or Flight. These two natural reactions have been associated with our survival as the human race. The instincts we have to deal with danger are rooted in our emotional responses. Anxiety is the fear or worry that comes from a real or perceived threat. Anger is also a response to a threat but builds on that fear or worry with a feeling of annoyance.

Research has linked anxiety and anger together as responses when we lose control. We’ve seen this theme of maintaining control in our proverbs this week. If you feel like you’re dealing with something you’re not sure how to handle, you may become anxious. And when the threat grows your anxiety turns to anger. Some suggest anger is a root cause of anxiety; individuals who have not learned how to properly express their anger may face long-term anxiety or turn their anger inward as negative self-talk.

As we’ve looked into anger this week, we see that anger is not in and of itself evil. We are created in the image of God, and even God gets angry. Though God expects we will experience this emotion, Ephesians 4:26 exhorts us to keep this emotion in check — “in your anger do not sin.”

Read

Proverbs 25:28 (NIV)

Like a city whose walls are broken through

is a person who lacks self-control.

Proverbs 29:8 (NIV)

Mockers stir up a city,

but the wise turn anger away.

Proverbs 29:11 (NIV)

Fools give full vent to their rage,

but the wise bring calm in the end.

Ask yourself

• How can I be angry and not sin?
• Is my pent-up anger causing anxiety in my life?

Read what others say

From Dr. Gary Collins:

One writer has suggested that people have four basic ways of dealing with anger.  They can:

• Repress Refusing to admit its presence or avoiding the situation through some type of addiction – anger that is denied will never be eliminated.
• Suppress Deliberately keeping it hidden from others which may lead to physical or psychological issues – anger that is turned inward is still not under control.
• Express Outburts in destructive ways through verbal or physical attacks – anger that attacks can impact the innocent without resolving the situation.
• Confess it: to God and others. Admitting to feelings of anger, trying to determine the cause, and seeking to change the situation or see it from another perspective – confessed anger allows us to process the emotion without sin.^[1]

From Soothing the Anger Through Wisdom:

A very wise man once told me that the reason we become angry (in a sinful way) is because we cannot control something we desperately want to control.  Therefore, when we become angry in a particular situation, it is because we want to control that situation – and are not content to submit ourselves to God’s sovereignty and providence. When we become angry with someone it is because they are acting in a way that we cannot control. We are not content to submit ourselves to God in serving them – even if they do not act in a way that is consistent with how WE would control them if we could.

[Regarding Proverbs 29:11] What is interesting about this proverb is that we are told that the wise man “holds” his temper back.  The word used for the holding back of our temper is the Hebrew word shabach, which mean to soothe or to still something. Here it is used of anger that rises up within us. The actual word for “temper” here is ruach which means spirit. We learn to hold back our spirit when it wants to react in anger. … We need to have the spirit of God – who is patient, kind, and full of self-control – soothe our anger and keep us from reacting in rage or anger. A wise man knows this and practices it when he senses anger begin to rise up within him.^[2]

Pray

God you know me well.  You formed me from the inside-out. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence.

Search me, God, and know my heart; examine me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and guide me on the road to eternal life.

      (from Psalm 138)

Talk about it

• Though you may move between them based on the situation, which of the four ways of dealing with anger from Dr. Collins is most common for you?
• In what way do you need to submit to God in order to address anger in a current situation? How will his spirit help you soothe or still your anger?

^[1] Gary R. Collins, Ph.D., Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide (Waco, TX:Word, Inc., 1980), 106-108.

^[2] “Soothing the Anger Through Wisdom” Proverb a Day, (1/29/2011) https://www.calvarychapeljonesboro.org/proverb-a-day/soothing-the-anger-through-wisdom-proverbs-2911