Day 3
Lisa Scheffler, author
Christianity gives us a beautiful and complete vision of what it means to be human. As we’ve seen so far this week, we are not slaves to the appetites of our bodies and what we do with our bodies matters. In Christ we are on our way to becoming gloriously, fully human —united with the Son, indwelt by the Spirit and one day resurrected by the Father. One way to turn from a false god is to worship the true God with our bodies.
This idea is incredibly liberating in a time and culture that often treats people in such dehumanizing ways. Notice the way that the bodies of women, and increasingly men are portrayed in popular media. The poses are suggestive, facial expressions submissively blank or overtly seductive. Sometimes only the most sexually stimulating parts of the body is shown, reducing the model to something less than fully human — faceless, soulless body parts. They are no longer a person, but a commodity to be desired and possessed. It is a visual representation of what lust does to another human being.
This week we are looking at how we can hurt each other, ourselves and our relationship with Christ when we turn to the idols of sexual sin. Today we will focus on how even sins we commit in our mind can be destructive by looking at Jesus’ warning about lust in the Sermon on the Mount.
The law of Moses provided the Jewish people with instructions about sexual conduct. All sexual behavior outside of marriage was condemded. But God is always concerned with more than our outward behavior. In the passage below, Jesus speaks not only against a certain act, but the inner workings of the heart that can lead to it.
Read
Matthew 5:27–30
27“You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to desire her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into hell.
Ask Yourself
- How does Jesus define adultery in a way his audience probably wasn’t expecting?
- How does Jesus use hyperbole (exaggeration) to show the seriousness of this sin?
Reflect
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus reveals the standards of God’s Kingdom. It is not enough to avoid violating his laws, one must embrace and reflect the King’s heart. Sexual integrity begins in the heart with a deep love for God and for other people. The body lives out what the heart desires.
Jesus quotes the seventh of the Ten Commandments, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14) but challenges his listeners to include among adulterers those who look “at a woman to desire her.” Commentators point out that the words used here “look … to desire” are translated as “covet” in other verses, and for his listeners, likely brought to mind another commandment, “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that belongs to your neighbor” (Exodus 20:17).[1]
What Jesus is describing is not simply being attracted to someone, but allowing that attraction to swell into an illicit desire to take or possess them. By turning another person into an object of your passion and desire, you are reducing them to a thing to be used for your sexual gratification, even if it never goes beyond your thoughts. You’re dehumanizing them.
God’s design for sexuality insists that it cannot be “all about me.” In marriage, sex should be as much, if not more, about loving, cherishing and pleasing the other person as it is about receiving love and pleasure for oneself. But so often we treat others as utilitarian, a means to our sexual ends.
Pornography is perhaps the most flagrant and obvious example of the kind of “looking to desire” that Jesus talks about. The viewer is the consumer and the bodies of others are products. We are not seeing them as real human beings created in the image of God. Anytime we treat someone as a sexual object we are acting in a way contrary to the command to love others as we love ourselves.
Pornography can threaten marriages — present or future. Even if we are not married, the mindset these fantasies create can be carried into a future marriage. These fictional depictions of sex will always be unrealistic. The expectation for a real person to look or behave like the performers on a screen or the characters in a novel can crush our spouse. The unrealistic, selfish, or distorted views of sex that are created by porn and erotica can tarnish real intimacy in a marriage. Both spouses will suffer. Fantasies are appealing because they will always be free of the difficulties of real human relationships. But they are not going to fulfill or shape us the way a real marriage does.
The other danger in entertaining sexual sin in our minds is that we might follow through to action. Fantasy can turn to justifying and planning. When nourished wrongly, sexual desire can lead us away not only from our spouse, but from our Savior. The drive for sexual fulfillment can consume us to the extent that we look to sex for the deep affirmation that should only come from God.
Perhaps that is why Jesus uses such extreme and drastic language to warn his listeners. So in response, be drastic if you need to be. Flee temptation. Prayerfully and humbly seek God’s help to uncover the root of your struggle, particularly if your temptation has become overwhelming. When are you most vulnerable? Maybe it’s when you’re lonely, bored, stressed or feel rejected. If you are married, maybe there are deeper issues in your marriage that you need to address with your spouse. Also consider seeking help from a trusted Christian friend or join a Christian support group like re:generation or Re|engage.
Sex holds out the promise of deep affection, acceptance and love, because that is precisely what it was designed to give within a marriage covenant. But even as good as marriage can be, it is just a foretaste of the true and complete love and acceptance we find in Christ. He knows all of our sinful thoughts, our disordered desires and illicit longings. Every one. But he died for us anyway. He alone can answer the deepest cries of our heart because only he loves us completely. The more we allow him to meet our needs through prayer, his Word and being a part of a loving, authentic Christian family, the less tempted we will be.
Pray
Today, praise God for your mind. Thank him for the ability to worship him with your thoughts. Repent of lust and commit your thoughts to God. Pray that you will see others as fellow image-bearers, loved by God, and not as sexual objects. Ask God for the courage to get help if you are struggling with an addiction to pornography.
Talk about it
- Talk about how sexual sins we commit in our thoughts can hurt others, ourselves, or our relationship with Christ.
- How can we worship God with our minds?
[1] Keener, C. S. (1997). Matthew (Vol. 1, Mt 5:27). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
