Day 2
Lisa Sheffler, author
All our human relationships require wisdom to flourish. This is especially true of marriage relationships. When two individuals pledge to walk through life as one, affection alone isn’t enough. Their commitment to each other is strengthened by their commitment to follow Jesus and the way of wisdom.
Having a wise spouse of good character is a tremendous blessing. In the culture of the ancient near east, a wife of strong and virtuous character added to the honor of her husband. We may not think as much in those terms today, but we do realize that the way our spouse thinks and behaves has a direct and profound impact on us.
Think about how these proverbs could be used to counsel young people on what to look for in a potential spouse.
Read
Proverbs 20:6
6 Many claim to have unfailing love,
but a faithful person who can find?
Proverbs 21:21
21 Whoever pursues righteousness and love
finds life, prosperity and honor.
Proverbs 12:4
4 A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown,
but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.
Proverbs 18:22
22 He who finds a wife finds what is good
and receives favor from the Lord.
Ask yourself
- What kind of character should you look for in a future spouse?
- Proverbs 12:4 presents us with a strong metaphor. Why would a disgraceful wife (or husband) be like a rot in the bones?
- How does verse 18:22 characterize marriage? What does God think of good marriages?
Read what others say
From Tremper Longman:
This proverb (Proverbs 12:4) makes an observation, presumably based on experience, and we may speculate that its purpose was to motivate its hearers to avoid a bad marital choice. A noble woman enhances the godly man’s life and is a reward for his wise behavior, whereas a disgraceful wife brings suffering to his life. Such a wife brings shame to the husband. The fact that such a wife is likened to rot in the bones shows just how deeply a bad marital choice affects a husband’s life.
Precisely how a woman acts to bring the label “disgraceful” on herself is not made explicit because it may happen in a variety of ways. Perhaps she acts in a sexually promiscuous fashion or mismanages the household or the children; whatever the cause, it brings the husband pain, and such a choice should be avoided at all costs.
Van Leeuwen suggests that Paul reflects the teaching of this proverb in 1 Cor. 11:7 when he calls the woman the “glory” of the man, since “ ‘crown’ and ‘glory’ are closely associated (Prov. 4:9; 16:31; Isa. 28:1, 5; Jer. 13:18).”[1]
Pray
A good marriage is a gift from God. If you are not married, but hope to be one day, pray for God’s wisdom as you seek a spouse. Ask the Spirit to shape and guide you to be more like Jesus so that if he sends you a spouse, you’ll be a blessing to him or her.
If you are already married, pray for your spouse. Pray that they would more and more experience the love and grace of Christ. As you move through the week, ask the Spirit to show you how you can grow in Christlike character, so you’ll be an even greater blessing to your husband or wife.
Talk about it
- Think about people you know who are hoping to get married one day. Discuss how you could counsel them based on these verses.
[1] Tremper Longman III, Baker Commentary on the Old Testament: Proverbs (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2006), 271.
