Day 4
Lisa Scheffler, author
There are parts of our culture that insist if you’re not sexually fulfilled, then your life is practically meaningless. So, the reasoning goes, do what you have to do — use pornography, have casual sex, cheat on your spouse, leave your marriage if your unfulfilled — and don’t worry too much about the consequences.
Today’s reading is going to give us some dire warnings about what can happen if you let your sexual appetite rule your life.
Read
Proverbs 6:20–32
20 Son, keep your father’s command
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
21 Bind them always on your heart;
fasten them around your neck.
22 When you walk, they will guide you;
when you sleep, they will watch over you;
when you awake, they will speak to you.
23 For this command is a lamp,
this teaching is a light,
and correction and instruction
are the way to life,
24 keeping you from your neighbor’s wife,
from the smooth talk of a wayward woman.
25 Do not lust in your heart after her beauty
or let her captivate you with her eyes.
26 For a prostitute can be had for a loaf of bread,
but another man’s wife preys on your very life.
27 Can a man scoop fire into his lap
without his clothes being burned?
28 Can a man walk on hot coals
without his feet being scorched?
29 So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife;
no one who touches her will go unpunished.
30 People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his hunger when he is starving.
31 Yet if he is caught, he must pay sevenfold,
though it costs him all the wealth of his house.
32 But a man who commits adultery has no sense;
whoever does so destroys himself.
Ask Yourself
- Verse 27 warns against lusting in your heart after a beautiful woman. How do you define lust?
- Remember that in the ancient world, the expectation was that you would get married early in life and remarry if you were widowed or divorced. There weren’t a lot of single people roaming around ancient Israel, so most illicit sex involved adultery. That’s not true today when (according to a 2020 Pew study) around 30% of American adults are single. So, how do you think the Wise Father’s warnings apply today?
Read what others say
From Tremper Longman:
Up to now, we have referred to the teaching in this section as that of the father, and indeed he is the one who speaks. On the other hand, it is important to point out that he represents not only his own wisdom but also that of the son’s mother as well. As the mother is mentioned elsewhere (e.g., 1:8; 31:1), we point out that this is a rarity when compared with the wisdom teaching of other, related Near Eastern texts…
Verse 24 for the first time states the place from which the danger emanates: a woman called both “evil” and “foreign.” We have already encountered the latter in chap. 5 (see 5:10, 20) and have determined that “foreign” is used here not in an ethnic sense, but rather with the idea that this is a woman who operates outside of customary social mores. This is what makes her evil.
The first warning has to do not with her body or the pleasures of touch, but rather with her words. She has a “flattering tongue.” The way she will seduce is through her speech. This comment shows psychological insight: the sage is aware that men falter not always for the obvious reasons of beauty but also because of an appeal to self-vanity.
The next three verses provide a colorful and interesting reason for not pursuing such a woman. Indeed, it begins by dividing the “foreign” woman into two classes: the prostitute and the married woman. Illicit relationships with either will cost the son, and both are clearly wrong, but the latter will be much worse than the former in terms of consequences. A prostitute will cost money, but a relationship with another man’s wife may well cost the son his life, as will be specified in vv. 34–35. The wording of v. 26b, “A married woman hunts for a man’s life,” is likely poetic exaggeration. She is not necessarily thinking that she will lead to his demise, but that is the practical consequence of her seduction of him.
The next two verses are memorable statements to the effect that there is no escaping the consequences of this illicit act. They comment in a humorous and memorable way that it is sheer idiocy to think that one can get away unscathed. The danger of sleeping with a woman other than one’s wife is comparable to scooping hot coals in one’s lap. The reference to lap is surely evocative of the man’s genitals, with which he engages the wrong woman. The same may be the case with the reference to singed feet, since feet are a well-known euphemism for genitalia in the Bible.[1]
Explore on your own
Author Rachel Welcher gives an account of a conversation she had with a young man about lust. What do you think of her advice?
Pray
Illicit sexual encounters begin with lust. Lust is more than noticing a beautiful woman or handsome man. It’s a step further. Lust is deliberate. It’s a desire to use or possess. It can be a form of coveting, because you want something (or in this case someone) that you have no right to.
Ultimately, lusting after someone is a way of dehumanizing them, because you’ve turned them from a person who bears the image of God to an object for your desire. One way to combat lust is to ask the Spirit to remind you that the person you’re tempted to lust after — whether they’re an image on a screen, a stranger on the street, or someone you know— is God’s image-bearer and should be seen as such. They are not someone to be used. If you are currently struggling with lust, take some time to pray over it now.
Now look back at verse 23. The Wise Father tells his son that his instruction is the “way to life” and will keep him from sexual sin. In prayer, ask the Spirit to bring God’s instructions quickly to mind whenever you are tempted to any sin, but particularly sexual sin. Your heavenly Father loves you and wants to keep you on the path of life. Let him.
Talk about it
What are some ways you’ve learned to avoid temptation — whether to lust or something else. Discuss some things that have worked for you.
[1] Tremper Longman, 179.
