Day 3
What are your favorite songs about friendship? Would any of these make your top ten?
I’ll be there for you
(When the rain starts to pour)
I’ll be there for you
(Like I’ve been there before)
I’ll be there for you
(‘Cause you’re there for me too)
“I’ll be there for you” The Rembrandts
Lean on me
When you’re not strong
And I’ll be your friend
I’ll help you carry on…
For it won’t be long
Till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on
You’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
You got troubles, I’ve got ’em too
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
We stick together and see it through
‘Cause you’ve got a friend in me
You’ve got a friend in me
“You’ve Got a Friend in me” Randy Newman
I could have listed so many more.
One of the consistent themes in songs about friendship is the idea that friends are there for each other. A good friend is dependable, reliable, trustworthy, and compassionate. Even if its 3 a.m., if you need them, a true friend will show up to help. These songs express what Proverbs 17:17 says so beautifully, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
This week we’re exploring the biblical idea of friendship. Yesterday we considered some of the marks of a good and true friend. The following proverbs offer us wisdom in maintaining healthy friendships, and warning signs when one is unhealthy.
Read
Proverbs 25:16–20
16 If you find honey, eat just enough—
too much of it, and you will vomit.
17 Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—
too much of you, and they will hate you.
18 Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow
is one who gives false testimony against a neighbor.
19 Like a broken tooth or a lame foot
is reliance on the unfaithful in a time of trouble.
20 Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day,
or like vinegar poured on a wound,
is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.
Proverbs 27:14
14 If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning,
it will be taken as a curse.
Ask Yourself
- Most of these proverbs teach us what not to do in a friendship. What wisdom do you find here? Can you think of examples from your own life to go with any of the verses listed above?
What Read what others say
On maintaining healthy friendships
From Warren Wiersbe:
Friends and neighbors must exercise tact and be sensitive to each other’s feelings. If we spend too much time together, we may wear out our welcome. “Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house, lest he become weary of you and hate you” (Prov. 25:17, NKJV). I’ve known people who spent so much time with each other that they eventually destroyed their friendship. If we’re going to grow, we need space; space comes from privacy and solitude. Even husbands and wives must respect each other’s privacy and not be constantly together if their love is to mature.
“He who blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it will be counted a curse to him” (27:14, NKJV). Beware the “friend” who loudly and frequently praises you and tells you what a good friend you are, because true friendship doesn’t depend on such antics—especially if he wakes you up to do it! Love is sensitive to other people’s feelings and needs, and true friends try to say the right thing at the right time in the right way (25:20).[1]
Explore on your own
In this short discussion of Wesley Hill’s book Spiritual Friendship, learn six helpful ways of thinking about intentional, committed, friendships.
Author and speaker Jennie Allen discusses why friendships are so important. You can read the blog post, or listen to her podcast, “Why we all need real, raw, honest friendship.”
Pray
Yesterday we talked about how reflecting on proverbs about friendship could deepen our longing for real friends. But, as many of our mothers said on the first day of school, to have a friend, you need to be a friend.
Pray over the proverbs above. Invite the Spirit to give you wisdom on how to be a better friend. Sometimes we need to address a relational tic that we don’t even realize we have.
Talk about it
Sometimes when relationships fail it’s because of a lack of sensitivity. Sometimes we can be self-absorbed and not realize how our behavior affects our friends. Discuss the importance of being tactful and sensitive to our friends’ needs. Based on the proverbs above, what does that look like?
[1] Warren W. Wiersbe, 110.