Proverbs: Week 3 | Day 2

by

Day 2 

Lisa Scheffler, author

A January 2020 survey revealed that year over year, loneliness is on the rise in America. Even before COVID-19 restrictions kept people apart, things weren’t good.

Some of the key findings of this survey were:

  • Three in five Americans (61%) report that they are lonely
  • Men are slightly lonelier than women
  • Younger people (18-22) are lonelier than older people (72+)
  • Social media has a major impact on loneliness with very heavy social media users significantly more likely to feel alone, isolated, left out and without companionship.[1]

Someone can have hundreds of Facebook or Snapchat “friends,” but that doesn’t mean they are experiencing the deep connection that God designed them for. Knowing carefully curated information about someone does not mean knowing them.

Proverbs teaches us that wise people cultivate genuine friendships. Today, let’s look at a few verses from Proverbs that help us understand what true friendship looks like. As you read, think about what scripture is telling us makes a good friend.

Read

Proverbs 17:17

17 A friend loves at all times,

and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Proverbs 18:24

24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 27:9–10

9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart,

and the pleasantness of a friend

springs from their heartfelt advice.

10 Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family,

and do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you—

better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away.

Proverbs 27:6

5 Better is open rebuke

than hidden love.

6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted,

but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Proverbs 27:17

17 As iron sharpens iron,

so one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 15:22

22 Plans fail for lack of counsel,

     but with many advisers they succeed.

Ask Yourself

  • What place should friendship have in wise person’s life?
  • According to these verses, what are the qualities of a good friend?
  • How are you as a friend? Could these verses describe you? Some of the time? Most of the time? What do you struggle with?

Read what others say

The value of friendship

From James E. Smith:

“At all times the friend loves and a brother for adversity is born.” Even in adversity, when friendship experiences the ultimate test, the friend/brother is there with support. A genuine friend is regarded as superior to a blood relative in a time of emergency (cf. 18:24; 27:10). In this verse “a brother” is a synonym for a true friend.[2]

From Warren Wiersbe:

Proverbs makes it clear that true friendship is based on love, because only love will endure the tests that friends experience as they go through life together. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (17:17, NKJV). It’s possible to have many companions and no real friend. “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (18:24, NIV). Friendship is something that has to be cultivated and its roots must go deep.[3]

Explore on your own

“Modern friendship has become distant and shallow for many, amounting to a shared interest or social media interactions, but as Christians, we’re called to pursue something deeper and more intimate.”

In this short three-minute video, author and evangelist Sam Allberry shares some amazing insight into our need for true friends.  

Pray

In a sermon on Proverbs, Pastor Tim Keller warns that if we really study the proverbs about friendship, we may feel both longing and regret. We will long for the type of friend that Proverbs describes and regret that we are not better friends ourselves. Notice when you experience those two emotions as we go through the week and then take those feelings to the Father in prayer.

Today, consider the longing that might come from reading the proverbs above. Though we need good and genuine friendships, we experience a longing for love and acceptance that the greatest human friend in the world couldn’t fill. We need Jesus! Invite the Holy Spirit to fill you with peace, love, joy, and hope because you are so deeply loved by Jesus. Ask him to guide you in your friendships. Human friendships can’t bear the weight of our ultimate needs.

The more we experience the love of God, the better friend we can be to others. Even as we think about the need to cultivate genuine friendship, let’s remember who the ultimate source of love is.

Talk about it

  • Proverbs tells us that good friends offer wise counsel. Based on your own experiences, discuss how can that be done well. When, where, how, and how often should we offer advice? How should we receive a friend’s counsel? Under what circumstances should we take it to heart?

In Christian circles, you may hear the phrase “iron sharpening iron” a lot. What does that mean to you? How can we disagree, while helping one another grow?

[1] Cigna, 2020 Loneliness Index, https://www.cigna.com/about-us/newsroom/news-and-views/press-releases/2020/cigna-takes-action-to-combat-the-rise-of-loneliness-and-improve-mental-wellness-in-america

[2] James E. Smith, The Wisdom Literature and Psalms, Old Testament Survey Series (Joplin, MO: College Press Pub. Co., 1996), 591.

[3] Warren W. Wiersbe, Be Skillful, “Be” Commentary Series (Wheaton, IL: Victor Books, 1996), 107.