Day 4
At some point in our lives, we’ve probably all been warned against “peer pressure.” It’s mostly kids and teens who hear this warning, but that doesn’t mean adults aren’t susceptible. Most of us want to fit in and feel liked and find it all too easy to just “go along to get along.”
One way to avoid the dangers of “peer pressure,” is to surround yourself with people who are trying to do what is good and wise. Hopefully, any pressure you feel from these friends will be to do the right thing.
Proverbs teaches us the benefits of good friendships but warns us against the destructive nature of bad ones. Notice the kinds of people Proverbs advises us to avoid.
Read
Proverbs 4:14–15
14 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked
or walk in the way of evildoers.
15 Avoid it, do not travel on it;
turn from it and go on your way.
Proverbs 11:9
9 With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors,
but through knowledge the righteous escape.
Proverbs 12:26
26 The righteous choose their friends carefully,
but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 13:20
20 Walk with the wise and become wise,
for a companion of fools suffers harm.
Proverbs 22:24-25
24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person,
do not associate with one easily angered,
25 or you may learn their ways
and get yourself ensnared.
Ask yourself
- Proverbs 13:20 encourages us to walk with the wise. From our study of Proverbs, how would you describe a wise person? How does that contrast with a foolish person? What about a wicked one?
- Proverbs 22:24–25 warns against a hot-tempered person because you might learn their ways. What are some other “ensnaring” ways we can learn from others? How can we avoid that kind of influence?
Read what others say
The Importance of healthy friendships
From Ellen Davis:
Jesus likewise valued friendship highly; these were apparently the human bonds that were most important to him (John 15:15; Mark 3:31–35). The biblical emphasis on the importance and joy of friendship—as expressed also in the stories of Ruth and Naomi, Jonathan and David—is instructive for us.
Though countless self-help books treat the health of sexual and familial relations, the pleasures and the art of friendship are largely ignored…Millions of people in our mobile society derive most of their emotional sustenance from friends. Fostering and celebrating healthy friendships, then, no less than healthy marriages and good parenting, should be part of the pastoral ministry of the church. None of these primary emotional bonds can be separated from the life of faith; each of them is an avenue along which we can move deeply into life with God.[1]
Wise Friendships
From Warren Wiersbe:
God’s people must be especially careful in choosing their friends. “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray” (12:26, NKJV). “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” (13:20). Friendships that are based on money (6:1–5; 14:20; 19:4, 6–7) or sin (16:29–30; 1:10–19) are destined to be disappointing. So are friendships with people who have bad tempers (22:24–25), who speak foolishly (14:7), who rebel against authority (24:21–22, NIV), or who are dishonest (29:27). Believers need to heed Psalm 1:1–2 and 2 Corinthians 6:14–18.[2]
Explore on your own
In this short three-minute video, author and pastor Drew Hunter takes us on a quick tour through the Bible to show how we were made for friendship.
Pray
Centuries after the Book of Proverbs was compiled, the apostle Paul echoed its wisdom in his first letter to the Corinthian church, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” (1 Cor 15:33).
As his followers, Jesus calls to be salt and light in the world, so, Paul is not telling us to retreat into our Christian bubbles. He is warning us to be careful about the people we allow to influence us by helping shape our thoughts, attitudes, and actions. We should also remember that non-Christians aren’t automatically “bad company,” and all Christians aren’t necessarily good influences. Yet, they do see world through different lenses, and that matters.
Knowing how to be “in the world, but not of the world” takes — you guessed it — wisdom. Pray for the wisdom to be out in the world building relationships with those who don’t know Jesus so you can demonstrate the goodness of God, while cultivating good, honest, encouraging friendships with other believers.
Talk about it
- Discuss how believers can avoid becoming “ensnared” in the unwise ways of others, yet still be a witness of Jesus’ goodness, grace, and love in the world? Together, talk through some everyday scenarios where you need wisdom — neighborhood get-togethers, after work happy hours, golfing buddies, other parents from your kid’s team, etc. How can you cultivate genuine relationships with non-Christians where they can experience Christ in you? But how can you “walk with the wise”?
[1] Ellen F. Davis, 114–115.
[2] Warren W. Wiersbe, 107.