Lisa Scheffler, author

The Big Bang Theory is a popular sitcom that aired for over a decade. Sheldon Cooper, one of the show’s main characters, is brilliant in physics, but often insufferably arrogant and hopelessly clueless in daily life. When his fundamentalist, Christian mother comes for a visit, a conversation about his recent breakthrough discovery turns into an interesting conversation about faith:

Sheldon: It’s quite straight forward actually. It describes a new model of the universe that conceptualizes it as the surface of an inter-dimensional super fluid.

Mom: Interesting. You can believe that, but God filling an ark with animals two by two is nonsense.

Sheldon: (exasperated) What did they feed the lions, Mother?

Mom: (wryly) The floating bodies of drowned sinners, of course.

Sheldon: (even more exasperated) Listen. Leonard’s mom is a renowned psychiatrist and woman of science. Can you please keep the Bible babble to yourself while she’s here?

Mom: Are you ashamed of me?

Sheldon: Of course not. I love you. I’m just embarrassed by the things you believe, do, and say.

Mom: (patting his hand) Aw. I love you too. My little bowl of lion chow.

While these characters are stereotypes and this exchange played for laughs, their conversation represents a clash of worldviews that many of us recognize. These two people see reality in a way that is incomprehensible to the other, and you get the feeling this is not the first time they’ve gone head to head.

On the one hand, this is the kind of exchange many Christians dread. No one wants to be perceived as embarrassingly ignorant. On the other hand, Sheldon’s mom gets the last word, and the last laugh. And in spite of their differences — as the rest of the episode clearly shows — they really do love one another. Conversations about faith may highlight their differences, but don’t change how they feel about one another.

Faith Conversations

We want to have meaningful conversations that help nudge people closer to Jesus, whether they are with members of our family, a friend from work, or another parent from our kid’s baseball team. In our Neighbors and Nations series, we’re considering how we can impact people with the love of Jesus — from those who live with us, to those on the other side of the globe — because our mission is to help others find and follow Christ. This week we’re talking specifically about how to have spiritual conversations where we share Christ with others.

Even though we love Jesus and want to see more people trust in him, we may still find it difficult to talk about our faith. Sheldon’s reaction to his mom illustrates a couple of our fears. We worry about looking foolish and we are afraid we don’t know enough to answer tough questions. But there are other obstacles as well. We’re scared of offending people, seeming judgmental and intolerant, or just making things awkward.

So how can we have good, authentic conversations about that help people find and follow Christ? That’s a big question worthy of ongoing study and discussion. And this week we’re going to look at a three Bible passages that will help get that discussion started.

Day 1 

Even when we are passionate about Jesus and genuinely want to share the gospel with others, we can feel awkward trying to turn an ordinary conversation into a meaningful one. How do we move conversations to spiritual realities that exist beneath the surface of our everyday hopes, worries and fears? Because every person and situation is different, there is no script. The Bible certainly doesn’t offer us one. But it does give us some principles to lean on and some examples to learn from.

Today we are going to look at a passage from Colossians to see what wisdom Paul has for us as we consider how to have meaningful conversations about our faith.

Read

Colossians 4:2-6

² Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. ³ And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. ⁴ Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. ⁵ Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. ⁶ Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

What does Paul ask the Colossians to pray for?

What instructions does Paul give about interacting with outsiders?

Reflect

Paul reminds the Colossians of the importance of prayer. In fact, he insists they devote themselves to it. Why does he add the command to be watchful (or alert) and thankful? Perhaps it’s because (just like today) Christians often forget to acknowledge all the ways God responds to our prayers. We ask to see God move in our lives and in the lives of others, but sometimes neglect to recognize and thank him when he does.

Though he is in chains, Paul asks that the Colossians pray for the gospel to continue to go forward. God has revealed his plan to rescue, renew and redeem humanity through Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. Christ’s sacrifice has eternal significance for every individual who trusts in him. Rescue is available to anyone who will grab the life line. 

Paul asks something we might find surprising. Paul asks the Colossians to pray that he might be clear in revealing the message of Christ. Paul, who had come face to face with the living Christ and had preached the gospel all over the Roman Empire, never relied solely on his experience or ability. Paul knew that the whole process of conversion was an act of God and trusted in the Spirit’s power to articulate the gospel in a way that reached his audience.

Next, Paul includes two imperatives (verse 5). Be wise in the way you act is literally “walk in wisdom”^[1] In our daily lives, we are to imitate Christ in how we live and interact with those outside the faith. Second, we should make the most of every opportunity. If we really believe the gospel is good news that will change people’s lives for all eternity, we should be constantly on the lookout for opportunities to point people toward Christ.

Our conversations should be “full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (verse 6). Just as salt enhances the flavor of food and makes you hungry for the next bite, we want to show people kindness, love, and respect while enticing them to want more of Jesus.

If we want our conversations to be full of grace, we must be prayerful listeners. Prayerful, because we must be sensitive to the Spirit’s leading. Listeners, because we should be focused on the other person rather than on ourselves. Christian philosopher and apologist Francis Schaeffer once said, “If I have only an hour with someone, I will spend the first 55 minutes asking questions and finding out what is troubling their heart and mind, and then in the last five minutes I will share something of the truth.”^[2]

We have to train ourselves to ask questions and listen attentively. If you imagine a conversation traveling down a road, there will be places where you come to an intersection — places where you can make a turn and steer the discussion into new, meaningful territory. For example, let’s say you’re having a conversation with a co-worker and she tells you that her teenager is driving her crazy and she’s not sure what to do. You’ve just come to a conversational intersection. How will you respond?

1. Go straight and keep the conversation on the same superficial road: “Yeah. Kids today. It’s tough. But they grow up eventually.”
2. Turn right and steer the conversation back to focus on you: “Yeah. You should have seen me as a teenager. I was so awful I thought my mom would lose her mind. There was this one time in high school…”
3. Turn left and ask her a question that might take the conversation a little bit deeper: “Sounds like you’re having a hard time. I’m sorry to hear that. What’s going on? Do you want to tell me more?”

You never know where the conversation might go after that. Even if it doesn’t get much deeper, you’ve shown that you care about her life. You might be able to offer to pray for her and then follow up another day to see how things are going. If she’s receptive, you could take another step that demonstrates the love of Jesus. The Spirit will show you the way. What’s important is that you’re helping your co-worker feel known and loved, and it starts with a conversation that is full of grace and seasoned with salt.

^[1] N. T. Wright, Colossians and Philemon: An Introduction and Commentary, vol. 12, Tyndale New Testament Commentaries (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1986), 156.

[2] Covenant Seminary St. Louis, “Francis Shaeffer: The Man and his Message,” The Thistle (24 October 2012) http://www.covenantseminary.edu/the-thistle/francis-schaeffer-the-man-and-his-message/

Respond

Instead of small talk that keeps us at a superficial level, we can ask thoughtful questions that try to move conversations to a deeper level. Instead of sticking to facts and events, we can be genuinely curious as to what people truly think, feel, and believe.

What keeps you from moving conversations from small talk to something more meaningful? How can you address those concerns?

Who can you have a meaningful conversation with this week?

Mission Partner Spotlight

This week we’re highlighting some of the global workers that Christ Fellowship supports. In a variety of ways, they are sharing the gospel, working to strengthen local churches, and serving communities around the world. You can find out more about all of them on the Christ Fellowship website.

Juan and Melissa Santafe

Juan and Melissa minister in Columbia. The biggest aspect of their ministry is discipleship and leadership training. Their ministry vision is to plant one church, twelve leaders, and see 1000 Christ-followers by 2024.